NEW FOREST RC CHURCHES
New Forest's new url will be as follows:
http://www.newforestrcchurches.co.uk
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NEW FOREST RC CHURCHES
New Forest's new url will be as follows:
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SUMMARY OF RESPONSES TO ‘LISTENING 2004’ QUESTIONNAIRE
What are the difficulties you face as a family? 37% of people made up the biggest group of those who answered this question. They found the main difficulties the family faced were pressures of time, and the constant need to prioritise: “Not what we’d like to do”, “No quality time” , “…quality of family life affected” . Included in this group were those who experienced problems in making relationships work between different generations, inside marriage and with children. There were comments about how hard it was to keep peace and harmony. Loneliness as a result of broken or unhappy relationships was mentioned by several together with the difficulties of running a family while the mother also worked. Children’s high material expectations made emotional and financial demands on parents which in turn put pressure on parents. A single response says how hard it is to make time for God. Sections of questions with low numbers of respondees can be grouped into a general category of lack of confidence which possibly according to the answers stem from feelings of inadequacy in the fields of education and inter-personal communication. However, this was just over 6% of all the answers. Roughly 17% were encountering problems with broken marriages and other family relationships, including those connected with enjoying watching grandchildren grow up. How do you cope? Of all who answered this question (179) a fraction under 30% put religious activities in the vanguard of where they found help, the majority deciding that prayer, sacraments, trust in God and going to church as the most important and a further 25% relied on family friends, neighbours, members of the parish for help in coping with difficulties. Sadly 4 people out of those who answered just said ‘We don’t’. What do you enjoy most about family life? What are the high points and blessings? The overwhelming majority put spending ‘quality’ time together, talking, listening, sharing, relaxing, holidays, trips and ‘having fun’. Only 11% put ‘Praying, worshipping together, shared faith’ at the top of their list. And one pour soul wrote ’Not many high points at the moment’. What are your hopes for your family? The main hope of nearly 27% of the 705 who answered this question was that their family would ‘Keep the Faith, return to church, pray, have God in their lives, be good Christians.’ As might be expected, the choice of the next three favourites were health, happiness and wealth – in that order. A minority expressed the hope they might find time for less fortunate people, three people looked forward to being together in eternity and to eternal life and salvation, and one hoped for a peaceful death. Does today’s world make family life difficult for you? The clash of values and apparent acceptance of changing standards of both moral and spiritual behaviour, together with rising violence and lack of discipline make it difficult to live a Christian life. Secular society, peer pressure, with values motivated by standards expounded in the media – in soaps, the press, the cinema, etc adversely affect the up and coming generation with its emphasis on materialism, consumerism, fashion, and greed for money. The cost of housing caused some concern and also the unrealistic expectations in academic education. The assumption that mothers go out to work is taken for granted, which in turn puts pressure on them and in turn disadvantages the children. Euthanasia and abortion were mentioned by two people, and one mentioned the difficulty of finding any good modern role models for the young. Between 10% and 11% felt that while the Government seemed to interfere too much, with the state taking over responsibilities which belong to the family, they felt that not enough public effort was made to promote true family life. If so, how do you cope? 160 people answered this question, and 37½% put ‘Faith, prayer, going to church, (Christian) moral values, stand up for beliefs’ top of their list. Others thought it important to think positively, realise how lucky we were compared to those in the Third World and almost as many put friends and family as most important in helping each other in times of difficulty. How is your family helped by the world around you? Most people put their hopes that they would be accepted for what they were, and would like mutual respect, tolerance and understanding of differing family values and beliefs. They wanted more community spirit in their lives, caring and sharing in modest ways which together would enhance the whole. They were grateful for the society we live in, with educational, health and the caring services. They looked for inspirational leaders they could trust, and would like perhaps to have more time to enjoy personal relationships with their families rather than spend so much time working. What do you want to say about family life in today’s society? Most people are struck by the rapid change in the status of a family in the last 20 years. The norms have moved so much with single parent families accepted (though those involved find it very hard) to extended families which means something quite different now, as couples cope with children from previous marriages or liaisons and their respective parents. The fragmentation of families makes it very difficult for children, and very hard to hold up for approval and example the values which make for easier traditional styles of family. The increased desires for the ‘good life’ (materially speaking) which drives the need to work for the money to realise them makes lives very hard for the mother of a family. She finds the idea of going to work is imposed on her, rather than an option. The way ‘family’ life is portrayed in the media – ‘non-nuclear & dysfunctional ‘families’ – are portrayed as the norm. What is wrong with us?’ was the answer of 9% of those who responded to this question. What difficulties do you experience as a family in the Church? 27% put the ‘reluctance of children/family to attend Church, non-practising adult children, un-baptised grandchildren’ in first place of the biggest difficulty, quickly followed by half as many people having problems in coping with mixed marriages. That situation made it hard to talk about God, though it was slightly less difficult if the other partner was at least Christian, but then that gave rise to other problems. . . like the difficulties involved in worshipping in different churches. The Church’s teaching on sex, marriage and birth control, described as ‘hard-line’, was seen as very unsympathetic by 6% of those who answered this section, as was the reaction of a further 6% to the Church’s attitude on failed marriages, marriages not recognised by Church, Catholic partner ‘innocent’, unmarried couples and gay couples. The same number of people found the clerical abuse of the young scandals have shocked their families and in turn their attitudes to the Church with its protective attitude to the priests concerned. Negative responses to the Church, it’s boring, out of touch etc. etc. form quite a small proportion of the whole, taken by individual comments, although the whole amounts to roughly one fifth of those who gave answers in this section. How do you cope? Of the all the people who answered the previous question, only 10% answered this one, the responses to which were all optimistic and trusting in God, loving friends and children, and trying to do one’s best in relation to God and his Church. How does the church help you in your family life? One third of those who answered said that the Church didn’t help at all, ‘not obviously nor visibly’ and one single reponse was ‘Local church helps; Rome doesn’t’. Two thirds though were appreciative of what the Church does for them in any problems. Both the members of the congregation and having a ‘good priest’ came in for praise and Communion at home was specially mentioned. People liked house masses. What do you hope for as a family from the parish community in which you live? One third of the people hoped for friendship and support, both spiritual and social, and looked for acceptance, love, companionship and belonging to a community where they could find a social life with like-minded people. Just under a sixth wanted more for young people, and wanted opportunities for young people to meet and mix socially. All these people and more hoped just for acceptance, to be taken for what they were, so they could relax. There was quite a bit about liturgy, and a strong plea that it could be made more interesting with music, and more welcome for new people to the church, and even to the ones who come every Sunday! Visits from priests to homes with families were mentioned. A surprising number mentioned ‘More Christian/Catholic formation, education (inc. liturgical) for all ages, catechism, help with prayer life and sacramental preparation programmes – in fact more than those who asked for more attention for the young – 20%! What else do you want to say about family life in the Church? Only 38 people answered this section. Ten seemed to realise the Church was people not buildings, and also decided that it was ‘not just Mass’. A couple of people complained about noisy children in church, and one person gave a very pertinent answer: ‘We’ve been asked to share our problems; now involve us in planning the solutions’ – which is an excellent point to finish this summary of the answers given. |
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